Erratic memories from 2011.. looking back on a very eventful year

The year the middle-east exploded. And the year my captain did 24 trips to Libya during war.

The year my back collapsed and had me 6 weeks in bed, which further contributed to 10kg extra..

2011 when Amy Winehouse and Elizabeth Taylor died

2011 the scare of nuclear power worldwide and the tradgedy of Japan's tsunami

2011 the year I lost faith in Barac Obama

The year I realized it is time to grow up (2012 will be the year to do it)

2011 I worked in an office with a kiwi as the news of the earthquake was announced

The year I did not even bother watching the royal wedding

2011 insanity hit home as with the madman savaging kids and politicians in Norway

Silvio Berluscouni finally resigns!

I am coming back home. So long rock, hello home country. 17 years abroad.

Reflections on 2012

What a year 2011 has been. Is it just me or was it a though one? Thinking about the year 2011 I think many of us have been challenged this year. Friends and family have gone through similar yet unrelated challenges. It's as if 2011 was, not a negative year per se, but just... testing. 2011 tested our patience, wallets and durability. Many couples I know have had the classic "rough patch".. Some have lost their jobs. Others have had financial difficulties. I's as if 2011 was the year of "when the going gets though..."
I sure hope that 2012 is a lucky year. A year of less strain and gritted teeth. I might be the odd one classifying years in categories, but that's just something I do. 2009 was a disaster-year. 2010 was happy-year. 2011 was a year of trials and tribulations. 2012 will be ...? Merry Christmas everyone..

Living without water and electricity

Soon I'm to relocate to this place. It has all the comforts of home, except electricity and running water. No tv, no   Jacuzzi,, no washer/dryer, no microwave and no hairdryer... Will be quite the experience.

How many people this day and age get a chance to live like that for a year?
It's an adventure. It will be hard to deal with the isolation. Living with no shortcuts..

Ode to captain

Broad shoulders need to rest
Not from worry
Just de-stress
Slip under the sheets
Receive all of my heat
His broad shoulders form a rest
When I'm on top hands on chest
Now this is how it's gonna be
My honey and your tree

If men designed this it would be durable and at a reasonable price.

Lately certain things have annoyed me. Objects mostly. Overpriced ones. The kind made for females only.
Honestly. I can assure you that the "wings" on fecking pads would actually work if designed for men. And should the stronger sex happen to have had the periods instead of us, pads and penis-tampons (!?) would be given away for free in pharmacies as a huMAN right!
Don't even get me started on nylons. Not even once in my tight-wearing life have nylons lasted a full 12 hours!
I swear if men used tights they would be as sturdy, yet comfortable and wearable as NASA spacesuits. And the price difference for male versus female products. Razors. Why are ours more expensive for us. Not only are we cursed with shaving everything but our faces.. we pay extra. Same now that Nivea and the lot are making men skincare lines.. Less expensive! Even deodorants.. identical roll-ons are more costly for women. Dont tell me it takes more ingredients too cover woman-sweat! Ahrg!

Missing. Thoughts on longing

I'm starting to get, for the first time in my life properly, why so many great works of art are made on the basis of longing. Music, literature, films, paintings even buildings.. great work of beauty are created by humans missing another human being.
Sure I have missed people before! I've sent fond thoughts. I've called and text-ed endlessly, had private conversations with them in my head, written letters, lost sleep and all the things that you do when missing.
Yet, it took me til 2011 to know the real measure of real longing. Longing for the one you love. The one who's presence is for you as essentially different as being asleep or awake.
Irish captain's at sea, and he left me in sweet longing. I would give anything for the guarantee that this ache won't turn from bittersweet, as I know he'll return to me, to sour. Luckily I'm too in love and feel in love back enough not to indulge in the mental insanity of playing the "what if.."- game.
I fully get the "climb every mountain" and "swim across oceans"-theeme now. And believe me,- I would.
However I don't think there can be beautiful missing combined with certain suicide, so I'll bet leave the ocean-crossing and mountain climbing.
Already planning the scrumptious meals I'll make him when he returns. Nice way to spend the time walking the dog. What would Irish Captain appreciate for dinner tonight?
I'm not longing because I am bored.
I don't miss him because I like to keep an eye on him.
I don't wait for him so he can come sort my life out.
I don't miss him out of habit
I don't miss him to because I'm acquired to..
I just do. And it feels good. Similar to how my heart feels when I miss my mother or father. Family.
Irish captain feels like family.

Just for today

As I mentioned before I have been pondering spirituality and just been very "deep and meaningful" lately.
The affirmations below are actually from AA, however I feel it's applicable to absolutely everyone. I've printed this out and carry it in my bag. Whenever I feel overwhelmed of life's trials and tribulations, I try to take a minute to myself and read through the points to remind me of the importance of serenity and living on life's own term's, not trying to make life fit mine.

• Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
• Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.
• Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my luck as it comes, and fit myself to it.
• Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
• Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
• Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticize not one bit. I won’t find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.
• Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
• Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
• Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

The good ones out and the bad one's in. Thoughts on who is important in one's life

Lately I've reflected a lot on spirituality. Yes, it's true. The hard-core agnostic has looked into spirituality and asked endless questions I've no answer to.
Through this journey and the literature I've read and people I've spoken to, I have realized something about myself.
For years I've been incapable of humility. I've been bitter over things gone wrong in my life, and in the process obsessed very unhealthily about people I've been convinced were "after me". People who have wronged me and hurt me had become more important in my life than those who loves and care for me.
Sad, but true. The trials and tribulations I've faced over the last few years are filled with anger and resentment, even fear for certain individuals. This led to feelings of isolation and paranoia.
Why couldn't I see the ones who were there for me?
They were not the ones I wanted to like and love me. I was too obsessed with converting the "haters" and proving them wrong somehow, to see the hands reached out to me.
Instead of letting the positive people in my life give me hope and strength, I pushed them away like a spoilt brat, and let negative people interfere with all aspects of how I lived.
Childishly I've let insults and criticism of my person take precedence over love and appreciation of my person.
Brewing on insults is like a disease..

Buddha was well known for his ability to respond to evil with good.  There was a man who knew about his reputation and he traveled miles and miles and miles to test Buddha.  When he arrived and stood before Buddha, he verbally abused him constantly, he insulted him, he challenged him, he did everything he could to offend Buddha.  Buddha was unmoved, he simply turned to the man and said, “May I ask you a question?” The man responded with “Well, what?”  Buddha said, “If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it to whom then does it belong?”  The man said, “Then it belongs to the person who offered it”  Buddha smiled, “That is correct.  So if I decline to accept your abuse does it not then still belong to you?”  The man was speechless and walked away. 

top 5 quotes about ageing

Age is an issue of mind over matter.  If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.  ~Mark Twain


You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear; as young as your hope, as old as your despair.  ~Douglas MacArthur


Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.  ~Chili Davis


In youth the days are short and the years are long; in old age the years are short and the days long.  ~Nikita Ivanovich Panin


In a man's middle years there is scarcely a part of the body he would hesitate to turn over to the proper authorities.  ~E.B. White


Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.  ~Mark Twain,Following the Equator


Youth is a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.  ~George Bernard Shaw


Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.  ~Maurice Chevalier, New York Times, 9 October 1960


Do not regret growing older.  It is a privilege denied to many.  ~Author Unknown

Shallow me. Who would I have a pint with?

I am feeling particularly shallow today. Sat watching DVD's last night made me think about actors (stars) and the way we perceive them. A slight star gossip junkie, I form my own ideas about the stars from snippets of interviews, red-carpet answers, acceptance speeches, general trashy gossip stories and so on..
I divide the stars, regardless of sex-appeal, in 2 categories. This is gender neutral. Based on my superficial, judgmental and totally subjective impression of the bold and the beautiful, the question is:
WHO WOULD I LIKE TO GO FOR PINTS WITH?:
YES: Sean Penn ( Seems so interesting..)
NO: Holly Madison ( Uffffffff...)
YES: Dita von Teese ( perhaps she could teach me a trick or two?)
NO: Tom Cruise (unless I am in a foul, want-to-bitch kind of mood..)
YES: Viggo Mortensen (ehrm.. ok then, he's hot..)
NO: Halle Berry (she just seem boring... too sound)
YES: Prince Harry
NO: Kim Kardashian ( I know everything about her anyway.. how many reality shows do these girls have?)
YES: Drew Barrymore
NO: Oprah
YES: Joaquin Phoenix 
NO: James Blunt
YES: Helena Bonham Carter
NO: Hugh Hefner 

YES: Robert D. Junior
NO: Jessica Alba (yawn..)
YES: Johnny Depp
NO: Ben Affleck
YES: Christina Ricci
NO: Madonna
YES: David Bowie
NO: Renée  Zellweger

New Chapters. Those life-changing moments that steers your life in a new direction.

Sometimes something happens to rock your existence and make you "wake up" to realize it is time for a change.
Your life might be just grand. You may be happy enough or unhappy, yet surfing along in the direction and environment "your life" is in at that point in time.
Then something occurs. It can be everything from an actual happening to some sudden "this is my life" ephifamy.
The break-up from a life partner, loss of a job, the moment you become serious with a new boyfriend, a long walk in solitude, waking up in the middle of the night with one clear thought ..the "moments" are all different, but they all have something in common. You just know in the hearts of hearts that this means the beginning of something new in your life. A change. New chapter. You have grown up a little bit more.
Often these moments come to me when I have been moving in one direction, or lived in a pattern that does not fulfill me out of habit and routine, and obliviousness to my surroundings can no longer be ignored.
These "new chapters" funnily enough seem to reach me every 4-5 years. They are scary and often requires a lot of work, which is a challenge for me to wake my initiative and drive from hibernation.

So. After 16 years abroad, I am moving back to my hometown. After years and years of harping about "no way ever in my life back there".. New priorities. The 34 year old wants something different from the 24 year-old. The eternal student is ready to come home.
  

This blog is just fantastic!

Great Blog I found!

My top 8 pet hates

We all have pet hates. Everyday small things that just push the wrong buttons. It's insignificant things. Things that don't really upset you, but are things that.. well..you love to hate. Pet hates top list for me below:
1. Fake nails. Not the nice acrylic ones that most women sport. They mostly look natural and well groomed. What I'm talking of are the so called "nail art" nails. The loooong, scary-looking ones with murals, gemstones, bells, rings and lord knows what else on them. These women cant be very functional in everyday life. If you are unfortunate to work with one.. the typing.. drives you mental. I had one in the office.. She kept loosing them. You would find these strange things, long and sharp enough to gut a grown salmon using just the index finger, lying at the oddest places... Is it sexy? Must ask some men about that but I have an inkling it mightn't be.
2. Pads with "wings". I have tried every possible brand. Maybe there is something wrong with me? The way I walk and sit? But they do not stay in place. And I so want them to work. In general I am very disappointed in the so-called "new innovations" from that industry. Since the tampon with injector in pocket size(Tampax.. thanks!).. not much really works as they say it should.. and I don't feel like a happy breeze flying through life during my period at all!
3. Spam emails. Needs no further explanation. Ahrggh..
4. People who start every other sentence with "You know what you need..."/ "You know what you should do.."/ "You know what you do wrong..", "Why dont you..."
I appreciate input and feedback as much as anyone, but do not pretend to have the solution to every aspect of my life one pint into meeting me.

5. When the hairdresser can't help chopping off a lot more than agreed on.
6. Movies set in high-school. With the oldest-looking teenagers you'd ever see. Everyone looks perfect and their life-dramas surpass what most adults struggle with in reality. Please! Do you remember what it's really like? Hormones, acne, late blooming, boring classes..
7. People who ask "You have never thought about quitting smoking?"/ "You know how bad smoking is for you" etc.. If I am outside, in my own home or likewise it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
8. Restaurants who do not provide salt & pepper. Yes, there are more and more of them..

To facebook or not to facebook, that's the question

So. I'm on facebook now since last year. Late adopter, for sure. I have been very skeptical to the whole thing. The exposure, the guilt of rejecting friend's requests, the endless copy & paste requests backed by emotional blackmail, the endless ranting from past classmates or colleges declaring "had beans on toast for breakfast!" or " Mark is the best lover in the whole world".. Not to mention the TIME you end up spending on the thing. Are we all peeping tom's? It's driven by curiosity and the human knack for gossip and scandal.
When that's all said, as an ex-pat I find facebook a very useful tool to keep in touch with old friends all over the world. You can keep yourself somehow updated on what's going on in their lives without overseas phone-bills or awkward emails. Birth, marriages and most of all BIRTHDAYS!!! I love FB first and foremost for the birthday notifications. Gives me time to use my favorite e-commerce site www.moonpig.com
and send cards.
www.moonpig.com

I love you Andy Roony

Here is a piece written by Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes.
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.
Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over
30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know. A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than
her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest.
They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one!
You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize.
Andy Rooney

3 Sex-tips for women- Performed by the lucky man

Down south with a hum...:
Make your man hum as you reach climax when he is giving you oral sex. Just make sure he does not hum a turn-off track... Mine is banned from any recognizable tune as I find it too distracting. There is no need for Kings of Leon as you reach climax. Does it work? The humming gives the orgasm an extra edge... YUM
Word of caution to him:
DO NOT shove you finger up our ass without asking first... As much as you might want a warning for that, we do too!
Oil: Let him give you a massage using at least 5 times as much oil as a "normal" massage would require.. Its sexy and slippery and hot!
Toes: This is not for the faint hear-ted man or a one night stand. This is only performed by men who 1: love you very much 2: Have a fetish.. Make sure your feet are clean and fresh... have him suck your toes.. Works for me.

Maltese proverbs

The Maltese language is rich and colorful. They also have a wealth of proverbs. To write this post I started out trying to find some of the wise and really true ones, and ended up in a sea of proverbs about women. And shall we gently say,..ehr.. not very positive towards them.. So. A few gems below:

A woman is like a lemon; you squeeze her and throw her away.

Women have got long hair and short sense.

A womans tongue cracks bones.

Don't marry a good-looking bride for you'll have to watch her.

At night all women are alike.

A woman who does not understand by a look of the eye won't understand by a box of the fist.

A neck without a head, buttocks without a hole and a girl without shame are not worth admiring or marrying.

Saturday joke

Father McGee walked into the church and spotted a man sitting cross-legged on the altar.

'My son,' said the holy man, 'what are you doing? Who are you?'
'I'm God,' said the stranger.
'Pardon?'
'I'm God,' he repeated. 'This is my house!'
Father McGee ran into the presbytery and, in total panic, rang the archbishop.
'Your reverence,' said he, 'I hate to trouble you, but there's a man sat on me altar who claims he's God. What'll he do?'
Take no chances,' said the archbishop. 'Get back in the church and look busy!'

As a child did you ever expect your adult self to deal with this?

As a child you have some image of yourself as a grown man/woman, right? Or at we would at least have some thoughts on adults, age and yourself in the future. Never did you take into account the realities about being a so-called grown-up, did you? I certainly did not.
And I'm glad I knew nothing of the harsh realities about adulthood.

1: Money, Banks, Rent, Credit-cards, Bills...
2: Sex. Birth-control, smear-tests, VD's
3: Relationships. Break-ups. The quest for the one.
4: Wear & Tear of body and mind.
5: Mistakes, blunders & Guilt. You DO get wiser,- but there is a steep price to pay..
6: Work. Not as fun as you thought! Modern day slavery. Only a few are blessed with an enjoyable job.
7: Boundaries & rules. As adults we can but often no longer really enjoy, certain perks. Bed-time is up to you, punishment for naughtiness is your choice, candy every day if you want.. you have your own little life anarchy as an adult.. lots of pressure to create order

How To Make Women Happy... The Point System (advice according to women)

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Simple Duties:
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom (-2)

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
In the snow (+8)
But return with beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

Social Engagements At a Party:
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-8)

Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted in all of the colors of your favorite sports team (-10)

A Night Out With the Boys:
Go with a pal (-5)
The pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Mustang (-10)
With a personalized license plate that reads GR8 N BED (-15)

A Night Out:
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called DeathCop 9 (-3)
Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

Your Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-800)

Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)


The Big Question: She asks, "Do I look fat?"
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

The 4 different categories of break-ups

Category 1: You leave him feeling good about it.
Every now and again we wake up realizing that we’re not with the man of our dreams. We are living a nightmare. All your feelings are washed out and you don’t even fancy him much any longer. You may even wonder “how did I end up here?”. You get the itch. It’s time for a change. It’s hard to hurt someone, particularly if he is picturing the two of you as “it”, but it must be done.
Category 2: You leave him feeling sad about it
Sometimes relationships don’t work out despite the best of intentions and love/passion there may be. May be caused by circumstances beyond your control, it may be language or communication barriers in the picture. It’s when you see daylight and, with regret and a heavy heart, decide it’s time to throw in the towel.
Category 3: He leaves you, but your semi-OK/OK about it
Your pride may feel a little knock. You may be pissed off at him for beating you to it. “Your not dumping me, I’m leaving you”. But all in all the fact he left has no detrimental effect on your life, and bouncing back is a pick nick compared to category 4.
Category 4: He leaves you and you are mortified.
The shock, the crumbling of one’s entire life, the endless throbbing in your chest, snot and buckets of tears, sobbing in bed.. you get the picture. One minute you are happy and with the man you love. Next thing you know you are transformed into an existence of disbelief. This is when they declare they have fallen for someone else. Or worse, admit adultery. It’s when he says he does not love you anymore. It’s a sudden request for divorce. The real MaCoy.

So much to do, so little time

The magic button � Make Everything OK

The magic button � Make Everything OK

Click the link to make everything OK

Try to love again, and again

Love...
Often I wonder about the concept of love when I'm single. What is it? Why is it so damn important? What does it feel like? What does being in love really feel like?
When do you know you have fallen? When do you know you have fallen out of it?
I doubted many ways to love before. For example, I thought the fact friendship can grow into a romance (assuming there were NO previous "sparks")was just rubbish. I'm older now and know that it can happen. Friends can slowly fall as madly and deeply in love as any other type of romance. The one I know the best is the all-consuming, flamenco-playing, rollercoaster-ride, whirlwind/ fire & ice romance that hits like a tornado and turn you into a mad version of yourself for the duration of the relationship(at least through the honey-moon period). It seems everything is possible! Someone close to me just met, and instantly they just knew. Yes. As simple as that. They just clicked, and are getting married. N
o hesitations, no doubt no looking back..
I've always said that the concept of "soul-mate" (damn you yanks) is a myth. There are millions of wonderful and special people out there!!
Every one of them will seem as "the one" at the time.. but it's usually "the one for now", if you catch my drift? But. And this is one biggie. There is an exception. The cynic in me wants to spank me with a rusty land-mover. Even if you have had thoughts about an ex being "the one", you could easily have been mistaken. He was one of the many soul-mates out there,- but not the one for always. But that does not mean there is no such thing. You have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince.
When the one for always comes along, you feel at home. No flamenco, no bravado, no fighting & making-up, no fear. It's like finding a lighthouse. Its bright, it wants only to guide you to the safe shore.
Anchored. Unafraid. Strong. Loved. Where are my tissues?

Forgotten TV shows we won't admit to have watched

Full House
Growing Pains
Alf
Perfect Strangers
Family Matters
Step by Step
Full House
Golden Girls
The wonder years
Love Boat

Most annoying celebrities

Yes, I am in list-making mode lately.
MOST ANNOYING CELEBRITIES

1. The one and (thankfully) the only JUSTIN BIBER
2. Sorry. She's just too damn perfect. J-Lo (from the block my ass)
3. KENDRA, HOLLY and all of the playboy girls
4. ANNE ROBINSON
5. TOM CRUISE
6. Sorry boys... And ps. I used to dig her too, but lately it's too much: Angelina Jolie
7. Jordan
8. Heidi Montag
9. Bono
10. Dr. Phil

Getting older. Time flies

What days are the same? How days are the same.. How strange the flow of time?.Time lost all sense of duration, distance and scope for now. I don’t see difference between week and weekend, week and month, month and year. All in one never-ending roll of daylight (which is easy to shut out) and nighttimes (which is difficult to ignore). When did time start floating by unrecognised? Since when have weeks gone into months and uneventfully parked behind each other forming something supposedly called a year in life of me? What happened to make me so oblivious to the fact I am to cherish each day?

List of most annoying lyrics EVER!

As a music lover writing the list of irritating and annoying hits has
put me in a funky mood. Below you will find a new list. A top of the
bad, again. This time I present my l list of my pet hate lyrics. Not
everyone pay attention to lyrics as I do, but trust me, once you do
you'll be surprise at all the rubbish lyrics around. The song itself
may be perfectly fine, yet once noticing the actual words you go "Hang
on a minute here.. What on earth are they on about?".. Some are just
plain BAD ( such as EVERY lyric by rapper Soulja Boy.. a quick listen
to his hit "crank that" and I'm sure you will agree). Some seem fine
enough until you listen more closely and realize it makes no sense at
all- they might even be contradictory or sense with no sense if that
makes sense ( Like "please forgive me" by Bryan Adams" or "More than
words" by Extreme. I could go on..). Another category of BS texts are
the once that seem to be done (probably have been) written in a state
of drunk and/or drugged up haze. It's pure gibberish, but most of us
feel that there must be something awfully symbolic about it..
Sometimes that may be the case.. but .I give you "I am the walrus" by
the Beatles "Sitting on a cornflake waiting for the van to come... I
am the egg-man...I am the walrus" or Presidents of the United State's
of America's song "Peaches"..-"Peaches come from a can. They were put
there by a man. In a factory down-town"..
Then some are lyrics that are just too opulent, pompous, filled with
cliché's and ..just pass on the bucket... Celine Dion has a lot to
answer for.. so does Mariah and most boy-bands in matching outfits
with dance-routines. And off-course: antichrist himself Justin Biber.
Enough said. Here is the list.
No ranked order.

"Ebeneezer Goode" - The Shamen
"Yellow Submarine" - The Beatles
"No Limit" - 2Unlimited ("No no no no no no no no no no no no there's
no lyrics")
"No air" - Jordin Sparks ( I hope she never found a way to breathe with no air)
"Welcome to the parade" - My Chemical romance
"Rhythm is a dancer" - Snap
"Blood on the dance floor" - M.Jackson (RIP) "Blood is on the dance
floor. Blood is on the knife. Susie's got your number And Susie says
it right"
"Butterfly" - Crazy town ("My lifestyle's wild I was living like a
wild-child. trapped on a short leash paroled the police files. So
YO...I see the sun breaking down into dark clouds..)
"Calling mister vain" - (Don't remember the dude, and can't be asked
finding out. but he wants me and he wants me now.. cause he is Mr.
Vain)
"If you're not the one" - The prince of gay songs Daniel Beddingfield
"If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed..")
"The Riddle" - Nik Kershaw
"Some people" - Cliff Richard (I could possibly make a separate list
here altogether, but I just had breakfast and would like to keep it
that way)
"High Voltage" - Electric 6
"But I won't do that" - Meatloaf (just exactly out of anything is it
that he will not do? shove a cucumber up his ass and swing in the
chandelier? Get married? Buy tampons? ..we will never know)
"Yellow lemon tree" - Fool's Garden
"Email my heart" - Britney Spears

Random facts at end of a week

At the moment I am a lady of pleasures. Means I need to organize my days in a whole new way. Rat-race free but challenging as hell. No clients to think of, no bosses, no board, no budgets, no accounting... Either way.. I am enjoying a wee time-off. Enough sentimental blah.. I learned a few new things and I will share them with you:

- The Caribbean cuisine is the most diverse influenced cuisine in the world.. ( I was gonna include the countries/continents involved, but that's no fun.) Ah what the hell.. It's influenced by all the settlers that have visited and stayed. Yes.. what a mix! Things to ponder when there is time on hand to cook.

-BLONDE MOMENT ALERT!!!! The name Pineapple is applied to this fruit originally by the Spaniards setting sails.. because it looks like "It was given the name pineapple due to its resemblance to a pine cone" duh.. Where between apple and cone did the peroxide take charge?

- First real sign I've had in a long time that actually shows we are prone to self-beating, hedonisticish and miserly self-poisonous obsession with self. Why we often go sad instead of becoming American, lol. Plato was very focussed on the concept of Uroborus The Ouroboros (or Uroborus)[1] is an ancient symbol depicting a serpent or dragon eating its own tail. It comes from the Greek words oura (Greek ουρά) meaning "tail" and bόros (Greek βόρος) meaning "eating", thus "he who eats the tail".[2]( Wikipedia)

- Let me just throw in for absolute blondness that I also learned the real meaning of the word "serpent".. Yes, I know now that it is a snake... I'm asking myself what I used too think it was... No need rub it in!

- The wonderful meaning in educated words of the saying "the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one." Referred to the Latin expression "lex parsimoniae". Which again lead to the theory of "Occamis/Occam's Razor", again explained as the law of succinctnes. For those of you who, as I, don't feel too familiar with succinctness.. it says to be " Characterized by clear, precise expression in few words; concise and terse"
May I add however, to my light disappointment, when wikipedia tells you "This summary is misleading, however, since the principle is actually focused on shifting the burden of proof in discussions.[3] That is, the razor is a principle that suggests we should tend towards simpler theories (see justifications section below) until we can trade some simplicity for increased explanatory power. Contrary to the popular summary, the simplest available theory is sometimes a less accurate explanation. Philosophers also add that the exact meaning of "simplest" can be nuanced in the first place.[4]" I clocked out..and opened a nice red w...

- Cancer. Are we all born with cancer or not? many "Opinion leaders" claim to have the key to cancer in us from birth. I have an inkling that the camp which makes the theory we all have the "necessary ingredient" in us, then it's Russian roulette with that as the rest in life.
Many hours on-line has given no answer. Regardless how many sources I seek they always weigh 50/50. More wine!!!!

- That Irish Captain's make the best lovers!

List of most annoying songs EVER!

You know those songs you like at first, but after a while you just want to roll over and die when they come on? Sadly songs you sang along with to start off with can turn into diabolical torture. Here is my list of songs that turned on me, and some that I hated with a passion from the get go.
Not in ranked order.
1. Mm Bop - Hanson

2. Mambo number 5 - Lou Bega

3. Put your hands up for Detroit- Fedde le grand

4. The Ketchup song

5. Blue (DaBaDee) Eiffel 65

6. Baby - Justin Biber

7. Friday - Rebecca Black

8. Get a job - Offspring

9. My heart will go on - Celine Dion

10. Drugosta dei tei (NUMA) - Haiducii

11. Love is a wonderful thing - Michael Bolton

12. Who saved the world - Beyonce

13. My humps - Black Eyed Peas

14. What's up - 4 non Blondes

15. Life is Life - Opus

16. Knocking on heavens door - Guns and roses

17. I will always love you - Whitney H

18. Macarena - Los del rio

19. Beautiful - James Blunt

20. Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm – Crash Test Dummies

21. Shiny Happy People - REM

22. Hi Baby - DJ Oetzi

23. Not a girl/Not yet a woman - Brittney

Additions are welcome!

why sun is the best!

1. Its impossible to be depressed in beaming sunshine
2. Sandals, flip-flops and dressing in general!
3. Men look hotter
4. Skin looks better with a tan
5. Muffin-tops and other flab also looks less offensive with a tan
6. Cocktails are tastier in the sun
7. Clothes dry in hours
8. You spend more time outdoors = less housework
9. Generally you are more horny in the sun
10. Vitamin D is good for you!

Friends

Just had a few with a girl I have only had the pleasure of knowing a while. Besides having outstandingly white gnasshers, this girl is such a bubbly and inspiring woman. Talk about beavering on! This girl is top shelf girl. Whenever I get sad or lonely I remind myself that I have been blessed with the widest variety of fantastic people in my life. What is depressing about that?

Thoughts on sleep

Following my back-injury, I did not get a full night sleep for a week and a half.
Not more sleep than a few hours in a row. Then the pain would wake me and it would take ages to get back to sleep. For an insomniac as myself, its hard enough to fall asleep on a regular day, so the back-pain was most unwelcome. I turn into a monster when I dont sleep enough. Since childhood I have needed regular hibernation. We're talking 15 hour kips here. To re-charge my batteries so to speak. Sometimes people tell me they only need a few hours a night to be fresh. How can they? Some will also try to tell me 15 hours of sleep is bad for you. No way! How can sleep be bad? Sleep is one of my favorite things to do. One might even call it a hobby (shortly after sex and eating good food). If I am grumpy and depressed with bad skin and a short fuse..- I need my sleep. If sleep was an Olympic category I'd excel for sure. Below a link to a great blog. On the topic: sleep

Jealousy

What is this horrible thing? I mean, really! What is jealousy? It seems the number 1 killer of all things good between man and woman. Sometimes it is just a small ghost of the past lingering, sometimes it is an elephant in the room, sometimes its fact sometimes its fiction.. whatever it is, its toxic. Adultery never happens under your nose. And it is not what happens on a boys/girls's night out. Its a planned and pepped matter. Sure, there will be many cases of drunken stupidity as well, but that's not deliberate cheating. However real adultery is ongoing. It requires effort and planning. If the partner is jealous or not its still going to happen if the will to do it is there. What I mean is jealousy is not a preventive measure, its just futile. It creates distance. It achieves nada. What will be will be regardless. Anyone in a committed relationship know the rules. Know what they are gambling with. Know the stakes. If they are willing to loose the stake, is calling, checking, arguing, spying etc really worth it? For what? You can't predict the inevitable. But you can go about your life telling yourself you are special. And if the person you love wants someone else, the truth will see light one day anyway, so why create negativity trying to prove something that may or may not be true? Either way.. we can't force anybody to love us. Is the checking of email, cellphone, pockets, skype,general spying and inquisitions really serving a purpose? What's really going to come out of it? We don't own each other. Ever. We can only have hope and faith in eachother, and live one day at a time.

Downward Facing Dog

You thought I would be doing a post on yoga, didn't you?
Unfortunately, not at all.
In fact yoga and me would not match at all right now. Yoga and me are opposites!
Saturday last weekend I bent over some washing and CLICK, my lower back just locked.
In Norwegian its called "Hekseskudd", in German it's called "Hexenschuss".. in English.. ah well..Lumbago.. It is crippling. Those of you who have experienced it will know!
Needless to say, it is not just painful it is also a massive handicap and quite humiliating. Imagine your back locking as you pick sth off the floor, and you cant stand up.. For 4 days!! This I have had once or twice a year since my early 20ies, so I'm a junior expert in my own humble opinion.
I cant get dressed. Cant shower, Cant feed the animals, Take out the trash, Go to the shops .. NOTHING.
And the summer seems so inviting.

I'm reduced to a stage where there are two enchanting options, both involving a 30 minute pierce-fully painful, dreadful, cold-sweating, nauseating BATTLE to get from a to B.

Option A: Lie down on hard surface (floor)
Option B: Once the the stars and moons from your 30 min battle to get up, you can-
stand up straight! Yey. Can you walk?: NO Can you bend down?: NO Can you climb stairs?: NO Can you go to the bathroom? : Come on now.. use your imagination...

I rarely ponder the use of hard drugs, however, if Pete Doherty called today, I would not be interested in his guitar, that's for sure.
But, this too shall pass..

Anyway.. For those who have experienced this I can discourage those of you who haven't by sharing this fact: According to reliable statistics, 4 out of 5 people will experience lower back (waist) pain or as known as lumbago.

What helps:
- Avoid soft beds and deep armchairs ( that's when you need a crane to get out again)
Ergo: sleep/rest on hard surface.
- Heat: Hot water bottles or my favourite, the microwavable bean-bags gives great relief. I tie it up with a scarf, looking like a failed and distorted Geisha
- Magnesium: Magnesium is a natural muscle re laxer. I always have magnesium tablets around. Also works for headaches, stiff shoulders and period cramps folks!
- Stand up and walk around: The trapped nerve and or muscle need blood. All you want is to lie in a comfortable position and make it go away. It won't unless you move.
- Lower Back transplant: let's just leave that to the yanks, shall we?

Save the world from

I am feeling particularly moody today. No wonder, today is full moon.. Anyhow, I do enjoy a good moan. Below please find some current pet-hates of mine.



PLEASE RELIEVE ME FROM SEEING OR HEARING ABOUT:

1: Justin Bieber: He is, where to begin, ehhh, uff, just so ... ahrg.. incredibly annoying

2: Hello Kitty. When is this gruesome trend gonna fade? I mean. Grown women .. .

3: Libya: "Its in the name of democracy and human rights" Duh...

4: TV reruns: Its a complete piss-take. What am I paying for exactly?

5: Eurovision: Spare me. Its a complete circus. I cant even watch it for the kitch-factor anymore.

6: Whitney Huston: For the love of God. Go through this rehab and stay away! Relax and take care of yourself and your daughter. it is good for you. No more desperate come-backs, please.

7: Low-Carb diets: YES YES, I know they work. But it's the toughest diet ever!

8: Eye- Cream: Damn you all! Be it Dior, Dermologica,Kanebo, Bodyshop or Nivea. I still have bags and dark circles.

9: Dish-washing: A deep hollow cry! Why, but why, don't I have a dishwasher? And when I do it's still the thing I hate the most of all chores..

10: TIE: US and EU. Why can't we all just get a grip? Or at least stop acting as if we haven't got to?

My new co-worker

Lady Gaga makes me GaGa

So.. Am I the only one who things Lady GaGa is a great talent and musician of calibre, but think the styling is getting out of hand. I mean, she has Madonna for breakfast for sure. I just don't get all the hype. She looks like a tranny, and it's getting old.
It started with outlandish outfits. It caught everyone's attention. This is cool. Now she has gone from outlandish outfits, to be carried in a wagon shaped like a giant dinosaur-egg by gay-looking hunks. Lately however, she is in her underwear phase. Yes, you are thin and hot. You too are sexy. As much as you can! You will never be Rhianna or Beyonce! Sorry GaGa. Now please get back to your outlandish outfits and music!

Everyday treasures

Freshly squeezed orange juice (no..not from bottle..u must do it yourself! Oranges straight from the fridge)
A good cry triggered by beautiful music or a moving film/play/opera
An oral orgasm by a selfless and appreciating man
Coming inside from freezing wind and rain to a cozy warm house
Ice cold beer with good company
The perfect lasagna (sometimes you get so disappointed)
Fitting in to a pair of old jeans
Call from an old friend you have not spoken to in ages but never forgot
The dog walking perfect on the lead

What is your everyday treasures?

Good things about being over 30

The ability to say "no" to people. Life is too short to say yes to do things you dont want to do and things you don't have to do.

The benefit of knowing your body and your likes and dislikes in bed. Added bonus is the confidence to let your man know these things..

Most of us have mastered at least a few "signature dishes", which can be served without embarrassment and or food poisoning.

Rowing with parents have stopped, and one begins to actually enjoy their company.

A good night out does not have to include hysterical nightclubs, a drug/booze haze and meaningless one night stands.

You can reread some of the books you read in your teens, and actually understand them this time.

Home office

Working from home has its pros and cons. Right now I am enjoying the pros. I get up. Put on my cuddly comfy fleece and pyjama pants, walk downstairs to log on the PC and put on the kettle. I feed the animals and do some stretching exercises. Coffee and checking in box is followed by lighting candles in the kitchen which is now my domain for culinary experiments (made cod with pearl barley the other day!?) and office.
Am I snacking too much? Yes. Dont even ask me how many coffees I have in a day.. Am I getting any work done? The remarkable answer is YES I AM. Almost everyone I know warned me against the home office thing. But I honestly think its the perfect marriage for me. I do get my work done, and I feel fantastic not having too get power-dressed and not having to sit in a horrible office landscape drinking nescafe. 12 points to home office. I think Ill hoover the living room now before I reply to my emails.