Thursday, November 18, 2010

2010

So.. 2010 was in many ways a rocky rollercoster ride... What was supposed to be the year of fullfillment and closure, of joy and smooth sailing did NOT pan out as planned. However. In last minute.. or shall I say month... things took a turn for the best. I've met an Irish Captain. Yes . CAPTAIN!! Yeey. i can't stop bragging about it.. somehow captain of the sea turns me on.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Reflection on time


What days are the same? How days are the same.. How strange the flow of time?.Time lost all sense of duration, distance and scope for now. I don’t see difference between week and weekend, week and month, month and year. All in one never-ending roll of daylight (which is easy to shut out) and nighttimes (which is difficult to ignore). When did time start floating by unrecognised? Since when have weeks gone into months and uneventfully parked behind each other forming something supposedly called a year in life of me? What happened to make me so oblivious to the fact I am to cherish each day? Spite?
I seem to run after myself most of the time. Unable to catch up and probably to bone idol to make the effort it takes to get in line for own life. Takes to much effort and attention. Can be very concerned about wellbeing of other’s lives.. but own is not of much importance as long as up and running. Trying to make the weeks longer only seem to shorten them].
Could time be sold it would have the highest price. It would be the most sought after commodity in the world. It would be stored in vaults by people who could afford to buy more than they could consume, just like any other luxury item.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Is Norway really the dog's bullocks?


Home again. First and foremost let me clarifythat I love my family and I love going back to see them. And yes.. the nature is nice (then again Switzerland is hardly hard-featured.. nor is Ireland, or Finland, or Austria) and the uhm.. the .. fish is plentiful. My issue with Norway and Norwegians become apparant as soon as I set foot here. The Norwegians, you see, like to believe we are the epicenter of the universe. It's in our DNA that anything "you" do (you being rest of world) we can do better.
The moral superior calibre of the Norwegian folk is not to be underestimated.
Conspicous by absence in the international political scene we somehow have managed to maintain our egg-cosy microcosmos untouched by EU/ World interferance.
And we have the most arrogant misapprehention that our way is the best way and look with furrowed brows at any innovation or new thing one tries to present to us.
Stiff-necked and proud we believe everything from our salty dry cured ham ( I will eat Serrano, but please please save me from the venomous "spekeskinke") to our strawberries are simply the epiphamy of excellence... It's sickening! And I am happy to say I am an expat Norwegian.

Friday, July 23, 2010

That time of the month...


Evolution is overrated. Evolution is a lie. Why why why do the human woman have her cycle EVERY MONTH! Can someone please enlighten me on the neccesity of this? Why do we need to be able to reproduce at this frequency? Why can't we, as most animals, have better terms and conditions? I OBJECT! I don't want!
Sheep , foxes and elk have once a year.. and always in fall/winter.
Horses and hamsters breed in spring /summer.
Dogs are diestrous and have their periode just 2 times a year.
And here we are. Bleeding every frikin month. Who benefits from this ?
Women certainly don't.. And I am preatty sure there are hordes of boyfriends and husbands out there that would support the diestrous cycle with a parade!
Though there is no comfort in it, rabbit ladies are estrous and can concieve at any given time!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Please no more adieu!


I am so bloody tired of fleeting happiness. There has just been an ongoing stream of "endings" in my life recently. Just when it seems I have found something great, something beautiful, someone who's a blessing... just when I begin to think of this as real.. and relax..it's gone! Just like that. An I have had it with these sad goodbyes.
Circumstances, accidents and random occurances ..never due to tanglible destruction or rational decicion-making, it just wanished before my eyes. Out of my hands. And trying to hold on is as futile as carrying water in your bare hands. Now I must practice the art of letting go. Which is not my forte, to be honest.

When you hurt, cry a river, build a bridge, an get over it!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Is there such a thing as a household gene?



Throught my adult life I have been confronted with my possibly biggest weakness. Every single man in my life have grinded their teeth and tried to grin and bear it.
Each landlord must have had a mild post-stroke after rent-collection.
I just cannot keep a household.
Words like "katastrofa", "beirut brothel", "squad" and worse comes to mind.
I know it isn't difficult, but it sure ain't easy either!
I can hear you going pfff. pfff.. "it's a matter of self-dicipline", "it's just about lazyness", "one must apply oneself".. Trust me... I have plenty of all, which can be applied in situations required, just NOT HOUSEWORK PLEASE!
I procrastinate, I shiver, I cry, I try.. Not at all. No chance.
Now I am getting help. Preferably with Household genes and high tolerance!
If I never need to clean a toilet ever again I will die a happy woman!

Fresh in 38 degrees ?


It is something I seem to forget each year... The excruciating heat that covers this rock each summer come July/August.
We are talking sticky, non breathable, unbearable heat. Some of us have business-meetings. Some of us must move around.
Out of the mercy of the office AC I cannot keep up appearances.
As I arrived at clients office I notice my reflection in the mirror. Not only do I look like a crystal meth-addict with withdrawal symptoms, sweat-rings everywhere and perspiration pouring down my face.
In my bewildered and puffy, plum tomato red face I can See to my joy that any make-up applied with great care earlier, is now glued to the sunglasses I tried wearing (bastards make me sweat more and slide off) or below my jawline. I swear my green eyeliner was under my chin. On the journey back I was worried that my knickers would become one with the seat.. Guess who's ready for a swim!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Age of men or men of age

What is the right balance of age between a man and a woman?
Personally I am handicapped with a knack for young boys. Does that make me a cougar?
And how young is too young? When does it become molesting?
I've recently had a marriage proposal from a 74 year old.. I think when you reach 40 years + difference there certainly should be lots of love (or for some I guess money) involved for the union to succeed. Does that make him a mougar?
The 74-year old insits he is a killer lover, yet he struggles to walk properly..
Hardly think he would live through the wedding night to be honest.
But this is the thing. There is insufficient supply of the men in the RIGHT age bracket. Men between 30-40 are practically void from the marketplace!
Those I have met lately have turned out to be BAD INVESTMENTS!!
So what is a girl supposed to do? Fun with 74 or fun with 24?
Engage in battle for 30-40 year old? Find widower? Uff...

Monday, July 5, 2010

The working week


Have we really considered the necessity of this working week we have today?
Is it really aligned with the realities and needs of modern man and women?
I believe not!
there is something fundamentally wrong in the way the current working week is the way it's been since ... well.. since it was needed.
I know in Nordic countries and in leading companies flexi-time and home-office solutions are common, but for most of us it's the same old hamster-wheel week in and out. It's Friday? Great.. I'll be legless by 21.00 due to exhaustion from 5 days of work.
It's Saturday? Yippie! The ONE DAY I can actually organise the life I try to pretend to have outside work!
It's Sunday? The day before I am back in modern slavery? Thoughts are trapped in anticipation of new wonderful working week.
We have swipe-card?
We have short lunch-break. Barely enough to run , queue and pick up sandwhitch with no taste eaten in hurry in front of PC?
We have instant coffee?
We have sick-leave forms?
We have office yucca palm?
We have life?

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Smooth skinned frog


Ufff... My smooth skinned frog is leaving. FYI smooth skinned frog is a antonym for young beautiful french boy. Anyhow. Being fancophile me, it's sad to let this one go.
Back to the Balkan stock-exchange for me. But the Balkan exchange has such low currency. And the investments are risky to say the least. And don't even get me started on the Mediterranean portfolio of volatile, unstable investment options.. Uff again. the scandi market is stable and reliable, but how boring! Too boring!
The british exchange has some fringe benefits, however beer and football kind of lessen the value of the investment to a degree of not worth while.
Which market to enter next?

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Back Again

Well.. It's been a long long break. And the verdict of 2010 so far is a preatty good 10 on a scale to 12 (12 being perfect). The moaning of lost ex is definitively over and life looks forward, not backwards. May he marry his new woman and make many babies! Bless!
Since last I have lost and gained 5 kilos. I have removed the false nails and swear never ever again! They are the tools of Satan those things!
I've had a brush with cancer and a string of lovers. There has been travel and work, work and travel. All in all very good 2010. But lately the score is dropping rapidly. in fact .. today I see a low 6 of 12. How can that change? Shall I join a sect perhaps? Maby something to consider as religious people always seem so darn happy!
Yoga? Green tea? I'll let you know.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Insomnia


Why can some people fall asleep just by deciding to?
How can people slaeep during travel? Be it plane or train. How?
I am so envious. I've had difficulties sleeping since childhood.
It's 04.54, and Ive tried to fall asleep since 23.00
However frustrating it is, -there is something magical about night.
These hours when it feels like you and the cat are the only awake beings.
Besides the poor bastards still in a bar somewhere in partyville.
Strange thoughts, creative whims, ingenious work-related ideas and
just general nonsense often appear as I battle for some sleep.
Why is it I always fall asleep just within the frikin hour the alarm is set to?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

False nail virgin


So, I have 10 brand new (well, one week old) false nails.
I never thought I would have them, and now I do. Pretty much every woman I know have them, so why shouldn't I? They look great, but they come with all sorts of obstacles. I feel totally handicapped. I can't button my blouse, can't open my dogs tin of dogfood. I can't scratch my ear or pick my nose. I struggle to type, I can't deal with the locks on my necklaces and bracelets.
They need as much, if not more care than the original ones.
And, christ, it hurts when you break one! Yes, off-course I have broken nails already, what did you think? Not just one, but two snapped right off. It looks bizarre. My friend said matter -of-factly " you would break your nails even it they were made of diamonds and drilled into your fingers with oil platform technology"
Off to mend the two broken ones tonight. I have to! The bastards cost me a fortune.
One + of the whole thing, which again proves that men are gullable fools, - men think they are real! I mean, .. honestly. But hey, thanks boys, and bless your smelly socks!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Live with love, not in fear


I've just been bombarded by wellmeaning advice lately. Could karma be trying to tell me something? The messages I get have been delivered by the oddest mix of people. Some strangers and some old friends long not seen. A new friend I met during a conference in London told me "when one door closes another one or more opens".
That is true when you are in a position mentally to actually recognice these doors.
Sometimes after a blow, one takes a bit of time to reach that stage. But it seems I should become more positive ASAP. My good friend since 5 years made me aware of the power of self-fulfilling prophacy.. Something I know I'm guilty of.
A lovely man from Israel said the most powerful saying to me. He even grabbed my face in both hands and delivered with such intensity I think I have no choice but to listen to him. "Live in love, not in fear. Smile and keep going. Forget the past, there is only future ahead"
2010 I'll wow to become more focused and positive. Just saying so makes me feel happier. Perhaps this all really works..
The mind is a place of its own. It can make heaven of hell and hell of heaven.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

I love babies too, but

But I'm not so sure about their mothers. Just today I tried to enjoy a coffee and newspaper in one of my favorite coffee-shops. To my huge disappointment two mums with their bundles of joy plonk themself down on the table next to me. Well, that inaccurate. Between them, Bentley priced off-pist trolleys, cots, changing bags, bottles, toys blankets and much more they actually occupied 3 two pax tables AND blocked any access on either side, leaving guests to hurdle on their way in or out and waiters manuvering like circe de solei doing their job. The babis cried. That's what babies do. The young mothers ordered each an apple juice. And the circus begins. Changing, burping, one brestfead, trips back and forth to the changing room. Apple juice knocked over. Bisquits all over the floor. What a mess!
And I can't help to overhear the detailed baby-talk between them. I almost think they spoke extra loud in their pride of being BABY MAMAS.
I mean. They are everywhere with their huge trolleys.And they walk side by side, blocking the entire sidewalk. The looks you get if you get if you try to squeese by! Can't you see there are BABIES here, you idiot, their look says.
I've even ended up in the cinema next to a screaming baby with a mother and all her equiptment. I swear they cannot possibly need alll that stuff! They bring more for a trip to the supermarket than I do when packing for a weekend getaway!
I like babies as much as anyone else, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. When I was shhhhhushed for caughing by two angry baby-mamas in the cafe, I left. Found myself a really grotty brown english pub. Last baby -free frontier.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Retail Therapy


I've just been on a full scale shopping bonanza. How wonderful.
My sweet grandma transfered money to my account with the spesific instructions to "spend it only on things you can wear. This cash is for vanity only"
Hurray! No worries there. First stop: pre-tone-toner, toner, day/night cream, eye-cream, masks, serum, pre-serum serum... the whole package.
Next: shoes! Boots eels and goodlooking semi-flats.
By now my heart is beating and the general well-being has drastically improved.
Then I'm off to get myself a nice new winter coat. Found a real beauty with the nicest details and tailoring like I've never owned before.
When I add jeans (which I now can fit into thanks to the world famous break-up diet) two tops, I'm mildly euphoric. Just to add insult to injury I get a scarf, one qute clutch and sunglasses as well. By this stage I am high as a kite.
Never ever underestimate the true value of retil therapy. It is perhaps not sientificly proven to work, but it sure as hell does. Any woman knows that. And for me at least, the feeling lingers a long time. Every time I use my serum, when I open my warderobe and find NEW THINGS to wear. Good stuff. Should I have spent money wisely on rent and food and boring stuff, sure! But we can't disappoint grandma now can we? And, as loreal have brainwashed me to think: I'm worth it!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Sundays are and never will be what I want it to be

Since childhood I've had a difficult time dealing with Sunday's. And from talking with friends I know I'm not alone. So, what is wrong with Sunday's?
Nothing that can be easily explained. I usually just feel the blues. The weather is rarely as good as it should be. And there is just that x-factor to this day which I feel difficult to describe. Even when I was in a relationship and had my partner around, -the perfect recipt for a good day (no work, time to make love, nice walks, quiet time e.t.c.) I found the "Sunday Cloud". Many people have Sunday as their preferred day of the week, but, try yourself, when you ask people, Sunday is not the most common day to be favorite. Why? Obviously it's the working week coming up, but surely that can't be all. Is there a religious undertone? What do I know. All I can do to combat sunday blues in getting snug in pyjama in front of the TV. Reading and walking helps too. I just wonder why this day seems twice as long as any other weekday...