We canceled christmas, and I liked it!

Yes. It's true. Not a single Christmas-ordeal (besides all the Gluhwein I made..erhmm). No tree, no gifts, no family to visit or come over.
We spent the 24th with "Twilight" (what's the big deal with that film, anyway?) and Burger-King. The 25th we took the dog for a swim and workout (we watched), and saw the new James Bond with Chinese Take-Away. Ace!
I've had long baths and red wine. We have given and received massages. We have laughed at how lucky we are to escape our families. Don't get me wrong, it's with love, but just us, on our own, in bathrobes... we have to be allowed a sigh of relief.
Once before I had a Christmas on my own. When I was 23, and couldn't
afford to fly home.

We have thought seriously about dropping New-Years Eve as well..
Every year we go to a hyped-up party with wind-up friends, ready to make this :
"A NIGHT TO REMEMBER!" Yeah, right... The last I can remember New-Years Eve parties were always a disappointment.
We could order a Indian...

Minibar in the bedroom

If there is one thing you should have in your bedroom besides a decent mattress, a sexy man and a decent "toy", if you catch my drift, it's a hotel-style fridge. A minibar. I've had one for a while now, and I am ecstatic about it.
For busy ladies it's the cats whiskers.
First off all it keeps bottled water handy and available.
Once a month, when the chocolate monster appears, I have chilled choc right there.
We keep a little baby-campaign there as well, for those nights when we feel particularly raunchy.
But perhaps the best is it's additional benefits. I have my all my creams and gels in there. Trust me, the only thing that works better than sex to freshen you up and make you look dewy, it's nicely chilled creams, especially eye-cream.
Nail varnish lasts longer and dries quicker when chilled as well.
Living in Malta, where it is sickenly hot in summertime, I have my fresh nylons in the fridge overnight. Bliss when stepping into a boiling car. Sure, the effect does not last long, but it's lush for a bit.
I also keep my cooling eye-mask there, where I remember it! It used to hide behind the cheese and mustard before, and I hardly ever used it.
Ladies, if you don't have one, get one. You're worth it!

Those new-year's resolutions...

So, I can be a new woman,- AGAIN.
I can each year you see, but I never get round to it. We all have broken new-year's resolutions in common. Personally I stopped announcing them many years ago.
No need to face the public embarrassment of broken resolutions 2 week into January.
Every year I announce to all my friends that " My only new-year's resolution this year, is not to have any". Very clever, right.
Inside I'll always have my secret private resolutions, though.
Will this be the year I finally manage to quit smoking? Being a smoker nowadays is a public humiliation.
Can I fit into a size 10 this year?
Will I ever be in control of my personal cash-flow?
All the same pressures of new-years resolutions I endure in quiet defeat.
But, as my friend and an absolute cynic, pointed out:
"Girl, will you chill out on the January- or- complete- failure nonsense, there's a brand new Monday every week!"
Seems I can feel guilty year-round, fuzzing over January alone does not suffice.
I'll have some Gluhwein and a few cookies now, I think.

Tanning hysteria

Sunset Tan
It's been a few years now. Slowly building a crescendo which has shown it's orange peak the last year or so. Girls in the offices I visit, in December, have spray-tans. All actresses spray-tan, such as Charlize Theorn (who's usually top glam) and singers, Christina Aguilera looks luminous at times. The "reality-brain-insult" show "Sunset Tan" shows us all aspects of how the magic is done.
A quick google search shows : Keyword: fake tan : 2,860,000 hits
We started off with the gory self-tanner cream. Today you can have your pick. Cream, lotion, foam, spray.. it's all there for that sun-kissed look.
We need a pick-me-up every now and again, and the shocking image of one's own milky/winter body is too much to bear,- fake tan is good. Most of us like to use it as a great holiday preparation, and to maintain that hard-earned holiday glow.
But some women I know have now adopted it as a staple in their daily regime.
It's tan all-year round. Nothing else is acceptable for a well-groomed lady of 2008.
Come new-year soon, I wish we'll see an end to spray-tan hysteria.

Top 5 glamorous christmas housework

NIGELLA KNOWS a GLAMOROUS CHRISTMAS!

Top of the top of housework which is still possibly considered to be glamorous?! At least you can feel moderately glam doing it. Can also be performed in heels with a sultry look!

1: Flower arrangements
2: Christmas decorating
3: Serving apéritifs and hordeuvres
4: Filling stockings & or wrapping presents
5: Bake Christmas cookies

Top 5 NOT SO glamorous house-wife tasks Nigella won't engage in.
1: Scrubbing the loo
2: Sweep up needles from the Christmas-three
3: Prep the turkey for roasting
4: Clean out the fireplace
5: Defrost turkey with the hair-dryer

Sunday Blues

I've never liked Sundays. Even as a child, it was my least favorite day. And for some strange reason, the weather seems gray most Sunday's. Nowadays I can't enjoy them because I am dreading and preparing for a new working week. My weeks are usually 60-70 Hours, and you would think Sunday's would be spent as I understand they should; church, family and friends relaxing and taking it easy. Modern me have no family in the country, and as said before, I am stressing about the coming week. Usually I also have a ton of guilt this day, for another weekend gone by without it containing all the fun, practical, exciting and cool stuff I somehow thought I would be able to squeeze in. Reality is, if I have a pint after work Friday, I'll be in bed like a log by 21.00 For us who work, Friday shouldn't even be included in the "weekend-concept".
We're working! I never manage to leave early either, as there are tons of things to finish off, so I won't think about them all through the weekend.
The two days of weekend give precious little time to be perfect. One is supposed to be able to do it all I see, flicking through women's magazines. Arts and Crafts: make your own fancy ecological shopping bags with fabric paint and potatoes. Romance: Have intimate a home-made meal star chef-quality (just getting the ingredients seems like a whole afternoon spent) with top wine, followed by sensual massage and deep conversation. I don't know about you guys, but a frozen pizza woshed down with cardboard wine followed by a quick shag and a dvd is what we manage. Because we are knackered! Biffed, exhausted, tired, knocked-out!
Art & Friends: I'm advised to visit the gallery and share a "Friends"-style cappuccino and talk for hours with my group of cool friends. Sport: Why not mountain-bike through a rough forest this weekend? It always astonishes me the amount of cool and "correct" things one of my colleges manages to squeeze into one weekend. Same every time. I almost dread to hear. She'll ask me first, always. What did you do this weekend? I'll mumble my bit a bit ashamed of our uselessness in the "exciting weekend" department, and before I finish she'll let me in on hers. My god! I'd need a holiday should I participate in one of hers.
I vote for a 4 day working-week!
MONDAY IS THE NEW SUNDAY

The bachelor

I just saw a show where this one dude is frolicking with 10 beautiful women, seemingly with the purpose of marriage. He can sample the goods and eliminate those girl who are not up for pleasing his fickle taste. He visits all the girls family and is welcomed to their home, where he admits to "falling in love with more than one contestant". This one contestant's dad chokes on his tea. I'm choking too!
How can they make a show like this? Do they actually get married this way? How can the girls accept this schmuck making out and probably even more, to all of them?
Probably these shows have been round a while, but my god. What is this? How can that be? How desperate are people to get married these days? Or are they desperate to be on TV? I'm speechless.

Blogging imperfection

I started a blog not knowing what I got myself into. Little did I know of the know-how required. There are areas here I am completely new to. Such as SEO, and keywords and html. A google-search on blogging tips knocked off my chair. Soon I realized what big business this is, but also I was overwhelmed by how many bloggers there really are out there. And how GOOD they are!
Seems I have the next weekends sorted out. I've got to educate myself a lot more on this wonderful communication tool. I will not be perfect, but it can get a lot better!

Slow food and a fast life

We are no longer allowed to eat processed food. It's now organic, locally produced so-called "slow food" which is the right thing, if you are to be successful.
This is a very time-consuming ordeal. I know. I've tried most of it. Not only is it slow in deed, -it's also expensive and requires many new and flashy gadgets,- none which are low maintenance. There's an art-form to the gadgets as well as what they produce. Things that no longer are allowed to eat "plain and simple":
- Chocolate
- Coffee
- Bread
- Olive Oil and Vinegars
- Juices
- Ice-cream
To name a few. Skills on ingredients I never thought all that special are now a necessity. The world of chocolate it seems, is just as complex as the world of spices. And olive-oil connoisseurs can out-brag any somellier on the where and how's of different oils. Tea is an art-form, and green, not black.
We need grinders for coffee-beans and special brewing pots and correct cutlery.
Bread should be made at home, by hand, with flours so rare it takes a day of shopping tracking them down. Juice shall not be drunk from the carton, oh no no no, it must be made in blender adding only carefully selected, organic fruit and veg.

Must admit I am allured by much of it. And I admire some friends who make it look like they never nourished themselves any other way, and make the know-how, blending and grinding seem like a breeze.
Sometimes though, I enjoy Ribena, snickers bars or a cup of regular black coffee, in solitude. Can't let people see I'm a food looser now, can I?

Christmas and Burnout

I just want to warn all superwomen out there. This is the season to go bonkers, lalalalala lala la la. Forget about the perfect Christmas! It's not possible due to a little imperfection we all have: FAMILY. So, instead of slowly loosing your wits trying to bake, shop, do arts & crafts, buy rare and weird ingredients you found in exclusive recipts, shop more and so on... Get yourself to a spa. Or at least chill out a bit. There is Christmas every year!
There are perfectly good cookies you can BUY. And not everyone needs to get a unique gift. I like to buy more of one item, if I stumble across something good. As long as they're not related, they'll never know!
Have yourself a mellow little Christmas this year!

Ode to good dads

Much is said about mummies. Men are turned into big softies when speaking of their mums. But, as a girl, having a really great dad is unbelievable. To become a father all one needs is be semi-present and get the swimmers in the right place. Many have lousy fathers, but some are blessed with really great dads. I am one of the lucky ones with a really supportive and involved dad. The feeling of security, safety and support a dad can give his girl is truly amazing. Growing up I knew wherever I was and what happened, I could always rely on by dad to come to my rescue.
The great feeling when dad says he's proud and looks at you with such warmth in his eyes. Women who grow up with supportive dads are more likely to enjoy healthy relationships with men as adults. Recently I read that women with good relationships to their dad's are less likely to develop eating disorders. Having a cool dad is a wondrous thing. tell your daddy you love him today!

I just visited my dad and wanted to propose a toast to all good daddies out there! Your ace!

Myths about growing old

Picture: Gaynor Evelyn Sweeney

There are a few things one expects as the years go by. Improvements, wisdom,
financial security e.t.c. Some are true, some not. Here are a few things I am a little miffed about

1. Your skin will clear up as you get older.
Well, it ain't happened here yet, and instead of struggling with the oncoming wrinkles, life's cruel enough to give me blemishes AND wrinkles.

2. Over thirty you'll be financially sound.
In my early 20-ies I thought by 30 I'd have the 3 V's in place: Volvo, Villa and Voff-Voff. And it seemed inconceivable that I should still be without a financial security-blanket, savings and at least an investment portfolio or some stocks.
Well, at least I'm not alone. Many friends find themselves a little surprised to see that unlike our parent's generation, the financial security is really difficult to achieve. Mortgages and overdrafts on credit-card's more like it...

3. With age comes wisdom.
What's she on about, you may think.. And I understand. We DO get wiser. I certainly know much more about life and how to live it by now. The thing is though, all this wisdom and lessons are usually useful AFTER it's acquired.. This wisdom that comes with age comes with no application manual. So, I end up still doing mistakes, perhaps even more so than in my 20ies, with more significant impact, knowing more than I did then, and being very wise in hindsight.

Skin-care miracle !

This must be shared! If you think the one item you have to bring if stranded on a desert island is your skin cream, think again. The last 4 (!) weeks, I have been home in bed with fractured ankles. Now I am back on my feet, but I have been :
COMPLETELY 100% WITHOUT ANY SKIN-CARE for 4 weeks!!
I live on the country-side, and since I could not drive I haven't been able to restock on my products. Trust me, I love skincare, and use a lot. I found myself without cleanser, toner, day cream, eye-cream.. you get the picture.. NADA

But, to my astonishment, my worst fears did not come true. Convinced I would end up with skin like Amy Winehouse, scaling, flaking and wrinkles popping up on a daily basis, I panicked. After a few half-hearted attempts at home-made facial masks based on bananas and yoghurt, I just surrendered.

Week 1 was the worst, as I have combination skin with oily t-zone and very dry rest. The first week was though as my skin was thirsty and oilier than I ever saw it.
But by week 2 I was fine. Now that I am 4 weeks without ( remember, I have not worn make-up either, as I've been stuck in the house) and out and about again, people have commented that my skin looks great. How about that?

So, girls, it isn't the worst thing that can happen, and your skin can survive without all this crap.

Did not change the fact I have now purchased the whole range again, and look forward to my old ritual of cleansing, moisturizing e.t.c.
I missed the fresh feeling, the pretty jars and the scent of the creams....

I'm only human (woman)

Thoughts about hold-in panties and summer versus winter body syndrome

So, I have been invited to a wedding. And I have gained at least 8 kg. the last 6 months. Each year is the same for me. I wonder if anyone else have the same dilemma. The summer versus winter body syndrome.
Come spring and summer my body transforms back to what I like to see. I tone up, loose weight, get a tan and feel great. By august I look top notch. BUT, I know all too well what will happen. By December I have already turned into a pasty and wobbly version of my summer-self. And please note, this is pre-christmas. All women know Christmas is the arch-enemy of body comfort.
So, as the flab-gaining's started, I'm to be maid (!?) of honour at my friend's wedding. I've been out to look for one of those body-cookoon/stockings/hold-in thingy's I've heard and seen about. MY LORD! How am I supposed to eat in that thing?
And BLOODY HELL, why do they have to have such horrid light in the cubicles? I never understood the logic behind making us feel our absolute WORST about ourselves whilst out to shop things that are supposed to make us feel pretty.
I tried three different hold-ins.
1:The first one looked like a normal panty with a very high waist. Man, did it produce VPL (visible panty lines) ! It's so tights any but-flabb will be squeezed to the sides like sides of bacon.
2: Pant two was more for the bacon control, with a much lower waist. Man, did my pot-belly thrive hanging over the edge of those pants. I had the butt of a 17-year-old with 640 pints of lager on top. Bit NO
3: I immediately felt this would be my lad. This thing was the next best thing to mummification. Starts mid-thigh and ends just under the boobies. Problem here,though, was walking, breathing and sitting.


Sod it! I'll just buy a larger dress.

Right,
So, here I am with my very own blog to bitch, moan and whine!
And off I go.
To clarify, I am Not, I repeat NOT a feminist.
And, for any male specimen who has confused himself to this blog-attempt: I am getting laid on a regular basis!

What made me make a BMW blog for women I really need to contemplate further. I know it may have something to do with how I'm feeling. With the way my friends and I speak when we get together. How sadly imperfect we seem. Compared with WHAT exactly?

Why do we, all of us educated and smart, watch Lipstick Jungle, SATC and other far-fetched shows about women who don't exsist, and end up feeling like loosers?
Even frikin Couplings manages to get us down.

I mean, how much are we supposed to deliver these days?
Here's a quick list:
- Be successful and look the part
- Be healthy and look like it ( e.g. skinny as a waif)
- Have fantastically rewarding and fulfilling relationships and have HIM looking the part
- Know all the Bhlanik's and Choo's as close friends and be able to survive the whole day with it, let alone afford it!
- Have a home that exudes elegance and style and keep the crap impeccable
- Connect with spiritual energy and be centered whilst having an austere cynicism about it



Nothing's ever good enough? What are we missing here. Are most of us failures or is the walue of what's valuable deflated beyond repair?