Downward Facing Dog

You thought I would be doing a post on yoga, didn't you?
Unfortunately, not at all.
In fact yoga and me would not match at all right now. Yoga and me are opposites!
Saturday last weekend I bent over some washing and CLICK, my lower back just locked.
In Norwegian its called "Hekseskudd", in German it's called "Hexenschuss".. in English.. ah well..Lumbago.. It is crippling. Those of you who have experienced it will know!
Needless to say, it is not just painful it is also a massive handicap and quite humiliating. Imagine your back locking as you pick sth off the floor, and you cant stand up.. For 4 days!! This I have had once or twice a year since my early 20ies, so I'm a junior expert in my own humble opinion.
I cant get dressed. Cant shower, Cant feed the animals, Take out the trash, Go to the shops .. NOTHING.
And the summer seems so inviting.

I'm reduced to a stage where there are two enchanting options, both involving a 30 minute pierce-fully painful, dreadful, cold-sweating, nauseating BATTLE to get from a to B.

Option A: Lie down on hard surface (floor)
Option B: Once the the stars and moons from your 30 min battle to get up, you can-
stand up straight! Yey. Can you walk?: NO Can you bend down?: NO Can you climb stairs?: NO Can you go to the bathroom? : Come on now.. use your imagination...

I rarely ponder the use of hard drugs, however, if Pete Doherty called today, I would not be interested in his guitar, that's for sure.
But, this too shall pass..

Anyway.. For those who have experienced this I can discourage those of you who haven't by sharing this fact: According to reliable statistics, 4 out of 5 people will experience lower back (waist) pain or as known as lumbago.

What helps:
- Avoid soft beds and deep armchairs ( that's when you need a crane to get out again)
Ergo: sleep/rest on hard surface.
- Heat: Hot water bottles or my favourite, the microwavable bean-bags gives great relief. I tie it up with a scarf, looking like a failed and distorted Geisha
- Magnesium: Magnesium is a natural muscle re laxer. I always have magnesium tablets around. Also works for headaches, stiff shoulders and period cramps folks!
- Stand up and walk around: The trapped nerve and or muscle need blood. All you want is to lie in a comfortable position and make it go away. It won't unless you move.
- Lower Back transplant: let's just leave that to the yanks, shall we?