To facebook or not to facebook, that's the question

So. I'm on facebook now since last year. Late adopter, for sure. I have been very skeptical to the whole thing. The exposure, the guilt of rejecting friend's requests, the endless copy & paste requests backed by emotional blackmail, the endless ranting from past classmates or colleges declaring "had beans on toast for breakfast!" or " Mark is the best lover in the whole world".. Not to mention the TIME you end up spending on the thing. Are we all peeping tom's? It's driven by curiosity and the human knack for gossip and scandal.
When that's all said, as an ex-pat I find facebook a very useful tool to keep in touch with old friends all over the world. You can keep yourself somehow updated on what's going on in their lives without overseas phone-bills or awkward emails. Birth, marriages and most of all BIRTHDAYS!!! I love FB first and foremost for the birthday notifications. Gives me time to use my favorite e-commerce site www.moonpig.com
and send cards.
www.moonpig.com

I love you Andy Roony

Here is a piece written by Andy Rooney - CBS 60 Minutes.
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.
A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a damn what you might think about her or what she's doing.
Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant.
Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women over
30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know. A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than
her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest.
They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one!
You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons.
Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize.
Andy Rooney

3 Sex-tips for women- Performed by the lucky man

Down south with a hum...:
Make your man hum as you reach climax when he is giving you oral sex. Just make sure he does not hum a turn-off track... Mine is banned from any recognizable tune as I find it too distracting. There is no need for Kings of Leon as you reach climax. Does it work? The humming gives the orgasm an extra edge... YUM
Word of caution to him:
DO NOT shove you finger up our ass without asking first... As much as you might want a warning for that, we do too!
Oil: Let him give you a massage using at least 5 times as much oil as a "normal" massage would require.. Its sexy and slippery and hot!
Toes: This is not for the faint hear-ted man or a one night stand. This is only performed by men who 1: love you very much 2: Have a fetish.. Make sure your feet are clean and fresh... have him suck your toes.. Works for me.

Maltese proverbs

The Maltese language is rich and colorful. They also have a wealth of proverbs. To write this post I started out trying to find some of the wise and really true ones, and ended up in a sea of proverbs about women. And shall we gently say,..ehr.. not very positive towards them.. So. A few gems below:

A woman is like a lemon; you squeeze her and throw her away.

Women have got long hair and short sense.

A womans tongue cracks bones.

Don't marry a good-looking bride for you'll have to watch her.

At night all women are alike.

A woman who does not understand by a look of the eye won't understand by a box of the fist.

A neck without a head, buttocks without a hole and a girl without shame are not worth admiring or marrying.

Saturday joke

Father McGee walked into the church and spotted a man sitting cross-legged on the altar.

'My son,' said the holy man, 'what are you doing? Who are you?'
'I'm God,' said the stranger.
'Pardon?'
'I'm God,' he repeated. 'This is my house!'
Father McGee ran into the presbytery and, in total panic, rang the archbishop.
'Your reverence,' said he, 'I hate to trouble you, but there's a man sat on me altar who claims he's God. What'll he do?'
Take no chances,' said the archbishop. 'Get back in the church and look busy!'

As a child did you ever expect your adult self to deal with this?

As a child you have some image of yourself as a grown man/woman, right? Or at we would at least have some thoughts on adults, age and yourself in the future. Never did you take into account the realities about being a so-called grown-up, did you? I certainly did not.
And I'm glad I knew nothing of the harsh realities about adulthood.

1: Money, Banks, Rent, Credit-cards, Bills...
2: Sex. Birth-control, smear-tests, VD's
3: Relationships. Break-ups. The quest for the one.
4: Wear & Tear of body and mind.
5: Mistakes, blunders & Guilt. You DO get wiser,- but there is a steep price to pay..
6: Work. Not as fun as you thought! Modern day slavery. Only a few are blessed with an enjoyable job.
7: Boundaries & rules. As adults we can but often no longer really enjoy, certain perks. Bed-time is up to you, punishment for naughtiness is your choice, candy every day if you want.. you have your own little life anarchy as an adult.. lots of pressure to create order

How To Make Women Happy... The Point System (advice according to women)

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Simple Duties:
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty (0)
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom (-2)

You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings (+5)
In the snow (+8)
But return with beer (-5)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

Social Engagements At a Party:
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Tiffany is a dancer (-6)
Tiffany has implants (-8)

Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it is a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted in all of the colors of your favorite sports team (-10)

A Night Out With the Boys:
Go with a pal (-5)
The pal is happily married (-4)
Or frighteningly single (-7)
And he drives a Mustang (-10)
With a personalized license plate that reads GR8 N BED (-15)

A Night Out:
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called DeathCop 9 (-3)
Which features cyborgs that eat humans (-9)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

Your Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-800)

Communication: When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+100)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-20)


The Big Question: She asks, "Do I look fat?"
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

The 4 different categories of break-ups

Category 1: You leave him feeling good about it.
Every now and again we wake up realizing that we’re not with the man of our dreams. We are living a nightmare. All your feelings are washed out and you don’t even fancy him much any longer. You may even wonder “how did I end up here?”. You get the itch. It’s time for a change. It’s hard to hurt someone, particularly if he is picturing the two of you as “it”, but it must be done.
Category 2: You leave him feeling sad about it
Sometimes relationships don’t work out despite the best of intentions and love/passion there may be. May be caused by circumstances beyond your control, it may be language or communication barriers in the picture. It’s when you see daylight and, with regret and a heavy heart, decide it’s time to throw in the towel.
Category 3: He leaves you, but your semi-OK/OK about it
Your pride may feel a little knock. You may be pissed off at him for beating you to it. “Your not dumping me, I’m leaving you”. But all in all the fact he left has no detrimental effect on your life, and bouncing back is a pick nick compared to category 4.
Category 4: He leaves you and you are mortified.
The shock, the crumbling of one’s entire life, the endless throbbing in your chest, snot and buckets of tears, sobbing in bed.. you get the picture. One minute you are happy and with the man you love. Next thing you know you are transformed into an existence of disbelief. This is when they declare they have fallen for someone else. Or worse, admit adultery. It’s when he says he does not love you anymore. It’s a sudden request for divorce. The real MaCoy.