What a difference a year makes. My birthday coming up and things could not be more different. I am back on the rock. I am back in my house. I am back in my skin and I am back in my mind. Praise the lord, there is space for me again. The space I am willing to give myself. Other people can define it, but that does not mean I have to inhabit the limited space they give me. The world is big. I have learned massive lessons about loosing. Loosing my home, my love and my mind. And I have learned the importance of letting go and move on. Like reptiles shed skin I have shed over the scope of 2 years: fake friends, wrong place to be, substance-less man, bad habits, my animals, wrong self-image/right self-image and tons of personal integrity, pride, stubbornness, possessions and illusions.... ah illusions... Approaching another year of life no longer makes me shiver, -it makes me smile. As my beautiful friend always tells me: karma will take care of the people who've wronged... That hopefully means I have paid enough. Lord and his wife knows I have had a lot to pay for. But just maybe I am off the hook for a little while now. That would be nice. And then some. I don't really know how to be an adult. But finally I am getting willing and eager to learn.
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