Saturday, November 21, 2009

You do know that...

I loved you over anything I´ve ever known..
I wanted to make you happy more than anything..
I know I failed in so many ways, but that does not reflect my feelings for you, just my own shortcomings..
That I would have given anything to have another chance to make things right..
That it kills me you only remember m bad sides and the negative time....

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Single Woman´s Christmas Joy


Walking into a shop the other day I had a shock. Working my way through hordes of Reindeers, Santa´s, glitter and umerous decorations, whith "Wite Christmas" on full volume, I could hardly find the dog food section.
Wearing a t-shirt, as the weather is still really nice on the rock, took a minute to ponder the miracle of Christmas. How can people fee excited about christmas in early November. Whilst people are still roasting on the beach?
As a single woman, with no family to speak of, Christmas is a nusianse only to be compared with childlessness and not having bagged a husband.
Over the next few days the whole Christmas marlaki started to hunt me.
What´s your plans?
Are you going home? NO!!! But why? Oh, but no, how can you not spend the holidays with your family?
But it's such a special time!
Come on. With divorced parents and no children, I ask you: what is Christmas supposed to be for a single woman?
Am I supposed to make marzipan and wrap special gifts on my own sipping gluehwein?
(Well, ehrm, the gluehwein I don´t mind at all, it´s the rest that narks me)
Everyone feel soooo sorry for you, and extends reluctant invites to come spend the holidays with them, their eyes begging for no.
I will do what I did last year as well:Cancel Christmas.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Enough is enough

Ok. So I have been completely comatose for 4 months. Enough is enough.
When I have been trying so hard to figure out what went wrong, or more spesifically, where I did wrong, I had a sudden realization.. It´s a complete waste of time!
If the man does not want me, it is pointless whatever answers I get.
HE DOES NOT WANT ME! That is the only thing I need to know..
So, it´s time to pick myself up and move on.
I am too old to waste any more time on this fiasco.

Life, are you still out there for me, please?
If I reenter,will you please be gentle with me?
I´ll do better this time round. I promise.