Lately I've reflected a lot on spirituality. Yes, it's true. The hard-core agnostic has looked into spirituality and asked endless questions I've no answer to.
Through this journey and the literature I've read and people I've spoken to, I have realized something about myself.
For years I've been incapable of humility. I've been bitter over things gone wrong in my life, and in the process obsessed very unhealthily about people I've been convinced were "after me". People who have wronged me and hurt me had become more important in my life than those who loves and care for me.
Sad, but true. The trials and tribulations I've faced over the last few years are filled with anger and resentment, even fear for certain individuals. This led to feelings of isolation and paranoia.
Why couldn't I see the ones who were there for me?
They were not the ones I wanted to like and love me. I was too obsessed with converting the "haters" and proving them wrong somehow, to see the hands reached out to me.
Instead of letting the positive people in my life give me hope and strength, I pushed them away like a spoilt brat, and let negative people interfere with all aspects of how I lived.
Childishly I've let insults and criticism of my person take precedence over love and appreciation of my person.
Brewing on insults is like a disease..
Through this journey and the literature I've read and people I've spoken to, I have realized something about myself.
For years I've been incapable of humility. I've been bitter over things gone wrong in my life, and in the process obsessed very unhealthily about people I've been convinced were "after me". People who have wronged me and hurt me had become more important in my life than those who loves and care for me.
Sad, but true. The trials and tribulations I've faced over the last few years are filled with anger and resentment, even fear for certain individuals. This led to feelings of isolation and paranoia.
Why couldn't I see the ones who were there for me?
They were not the ones I wanted to like and love me. I was too obsessed with converting the "haters" and proving them wrong somehow, to see the hands reached out to me.
Instead of letting the positive people in my life give me hope and strength, I pushed them away like a spoilt brat, and let negative people interfere with all aspects of how I lived.
Childishly I've let insults and criticism of my person take precedence over love and appreciation of my person.
Brewing on insults is like a disease..
Buddha was well known for his ability to respond to evil with good. There was a man who knew about his reputation and he traveled miles and miles and miles to test Buddha. When he arrived and stood before Buddha, he verbally abused him constantly, he insulted him, he challenged him, he did everything he could to offend Buddha. Buddha was unmoved, he simply turned to the man and said, “May I ask you a question?” The man responded with “Well, what?” Buddha said, “If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it to whom then does it belong?” The man said, “Then it belongs to the person who offered it” Buddha smiled, “That is correct. So if I decline to accept your abuse does it not then still belong to you?” The man was speechless and walked away.
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